Hey guys, sorry I've been MIA I kinda ran away after the last post. I had so many things on my mind but couldn't seem to articulate myself in any manner or form. I know it seems lame but don't know what else to say. That's the honest truth.
However, for those of you who encouraged me to come out of my shell I hope I don't let you down.
So much has happened over the last couple of months. Work has been stressful but not complaining. I've been taking it easy and trying to live rather than just exist. Hence, I've taken up numerous fun activities, which I could never see myself making time for. But I seem to have somehow make time and I'm actually enjoying myself more and not just going through the motions as I was in the past.
I think I can confidently say to a certain extend that I'm beginning to feel comfortable in my own skin, and to an extend say that I'm at peace with myself, My God and My religion....which is more than I could have said months ago.
Without going into preacher mode, God can be so funny at times. It's always been a case of I get a call (from God that is) and I run away. Like a father with his child he backs off and gives me space. Then he nudges again, I know what is expected but yet I still run away. Him knowing that the time has not yet come when he would grab me by the hand and force me to listen or force his will he reminds me in various ways that he is there. Which is always soooooo comforting!!! Anyway, one day you wake up and u find urself safely in his embrace and doing his will, and you kinda think to yourself why have I been fighting this for so long......and with a sigh you willing submit! Hmmmmmmmmmmmm bliss!
Presently dealing with the fact that I am soooooooooooo materialistic and even though I couldn't see it clearly I was always seeking some kind of approval, be it from friends, family, work.... which was quite a realisation as I didn't see myself as someone with any issues or social complex. But it obviously wasn't the case. After careful evaluation deciding that taking every day as it comes and making what seems like tiny improvements every day, after a while tends to make quite an impact. Hence, the saying the longest journey starts with a single step.
Now I've been toying with the idea of decongesting my apartment forever. So I decided that that would be a good place to start. Starting with my clothes, I decided that rather than gathering dust in my wardrobe, someone could actually get so much joy from having them. So that's what I did and it was such a wonderful feeling, especially as my friends had a fun filled day having the 1st pick. I recommend to anyone that when depressed or sad try helping someone....honestly it makes u feel soooooo good. Not in an arrogant way but just my knowing u've managed to put a smile on someone's face, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Anyway, next were the shoes, which was slightly harder than the clothes but even that I conquered. The last step being giving away my bags........this is where I currently am and as much as I want to do it I find myself reminiscing as every bag has a story / history and it seems like saying goodbye to an old friend.
Oh well wish me luck and I'll keep u posted on what happens ;o)